“Hey, can I borrow $50 until payday?”

It’s a simple ask—until it’s not.

Borrowing (or lending) money between friends is one of those things that seems casual until feelings get involved, texts go unanswered, and someone starts avoiding eye contact at brunch. It’s not just about the money—it’s about trust, timing, and how we value relationships.

Let’s break down the real costs (and awkward truths) behind borrowing from friends.

It’s Never Just About the Amount

Whether it’s $20 or $200, borrowing from a friend comes with invisible strings. Even if they say, “Take your time,” you may feel guilty until you pay it back. On the flip side, lending a friend money can make you hyper-aware of every non-essential purchase they post online (“Glad you could afford that concert, Ashley.”)

Money may be numbers—but friendships are feelings.

There’s No Interest, But There is a Price

Sure, you’re not paying APR on your friend’s couch loan. But you are risking something just as valuable: the relationship. If the loan lingers, resentment can build. If repayment is delayed—or worse, forgotten—it can create tension that’s hard to talk about, let alone fix.

Power Dynamics Shift

Even if no one says it out loud, money can change the vibe. The lender may feel like the responsible one, the helper. The borrower may feel indebted (literally and emotionally). And suddenly, plans, favors, or even jokes carry a different weight.

“I’ll Pay You Back” Can Mean Different Things

Some people mean “next Friday.” Others mean “when Mercury’s in retrograde, and I remember.” Unless there’s a clear plan—amount, date, and method—things get fuzzy fast. And fuzzy money matters lead to fuzzy friendships.

Alternatives Exist (That Won’t Cost You a Friendship)

Before you borrow from your inner circle, explore other options:

  • Short-term personal loans with clear terms and no guilt trips.
  • Small emergency savings—even $20/month adds up over time.
  • Side hustles that won’t involve emotionally charged IOUs.

Friendship is worth more than any Venmo request. If you do borrow or lend with a friend, be upfront, set expectations, and treat it with the same respect you’d give a formal loan.

Because the only thing more uncomfortable than asking to borrow money… is asking for it back.